My Role as a Husband

Posted 11/22/1993

Lead (Eph 5:23; 1Co 11:3; 8, p81; 1, p125; 2, p49)
1. By Serving (6, p32; 5, p27)
  1. As Jesus was a servant (Php 2:6-8; 5, p27)
  2. As Jesus served His disciples (John 13:1-15; 5, p27)
2. By Knowing whom I lead (1Pe 3:7; 8, p86)
  1. Spend lots of time with her (5, p28)
  2. Spend time as Jesus did with His disciples (Mar 6:1,30; 8:10; 9:2; 5, p28)
  3. Dwell with her as the Word of God should in me (Col 3:16; 5, p28)
3. By Assuming Authority (1, p154)
  1. Be decisive (2, p51; 5, p29)
    1. With prayer (Mat 21:22; Eph 6:18; 5, p30)
    2. With sensitivity to her (5, p30)
    3. With priorities (1, p152)
      1. Take time as a couple to look to God for direction (1, p152)
      2. After God, put her welfare highest (1, p153)
      3. Put work last (1, p153)
  2. Delegate responsibility (2, p52; 5, p29)
    1. Clearly (5, p29)
    2. As a servant (5, p29)
    3. By considering her feedback (5, p29)
  3. Supervise (Jos 24:14,15; 1Ti 3:4,12; 2, p53)
  4. Plan (2, p50)
  5. Organize (2, p50)
4. By Instructing (1Co 14:35; 5, p28)
  1. As personally as Jesus did to His disciples (Mar 4:10; 5, p28)
  2. Answer her questions (1Co 14:35; 5, p28)
5. By a Good Example (1Pe 5:3; 1, p31; 9, p144; 5, pp28,29)
  1. With submission to God (1Co 6:12; 8, p83,84; 2, p138)
  2. Spirit-controlled thoughts (Pr 4:23; Mat 12:34,35; 2Co 10:5; 2, p139)
  3. Spirit-controlled emotions (Pr 16:3; 25:28; 2Ti 1:7; 2, p139)
  4. Spirit-controlled bodily desires (1Co 9:25-27; 6:12,13; Rom 8:13; Col 3:5; 2Ti 2:22; 2, p140)
  5. Spirit-controlled conversation (Pr 29:11; Luke 9:23; 2, p140)
Love (Eph 5:25,28,33; 9, p18; 2, p50; 5, p31)
1. As Christ loves the church (Eph 5:25; 8, p73; 5, p31; 2, p54)
  1. Free and unconditional (Rom 5:8; 5, p32)
  2. A choice (Deu 7:7; Eph 1:6,7; 5, p32)
  3. Intense (John 13:1; Eph 5:2,25; 5, p32)
  4. Unending (John 13:1; Jer 31:3; Rom 8:39; 2, pp49,50; 5, p32)
  5. Unselfish (Php 2:6,7; 9, pp42-44; 5, p32)
  6. Purposeful (Eph 5:26,27; 5, p32)
  7. Sacrificial (Eph 5:2,25; Gal 5:10; 1Pe 3:18; Rom 5:6-11; 1Pe 2:24; 5, p32; 2, p50)
  8. Manifested (John 10:1-14; 14:1-3; 13:34,35; 15:9,10; Rom 8:32; Php 4:13,19; He 4:14-16; 5, p32)
    1. In words (1, pp39,41,48; 5, p33)
    2. In sharing (5, p34)
    3. In lots of praise (1Pe 3:7; Pr 31:28; 5, p36)
    4. In joy (Pr 5:18; Ecc 9:9; Deu 24:5)
2. As My Own Body (Eph 5:28,33; 5, p31; 1, p35)
  1. In cherishing her (2, p59; 5, p31)
  2. In providing for her needs (1Ti 5:8; 1Jo 3:17; Eph 5:28; 5, p33; 2, pp57,58; 1, pp48,56)
  3. In protecting her (Eph 5:28; 5, pp33-34; 1, p60)
  4. In helping her out (5, p34)
  5. In sacrifice (5, p34)
  6. In tender loving care (5, p35)
    1. Gentle (5, p35)
    2. Respectful (11; 5, p35)
3. As My Neighbor (Mat 22:39)
  1. She's my closest neighbor (1, p35)

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Eph 5:25). The love of Jesus is an extremely high standard for a husband (5, p32; Eph 3:18,19). Although a husband can never match Jesus' love, he is to do his very best to get as close as he can to it (5, p32). The ultimate in loving is for a husband to give his life for his wife (4). This kind of all-out love requires absolutely nothing from the wife; there is no condition to his love (Rom 5:8; 5, p32; 4). As such, it is solely his choice to love her (Eph 1:6,7; 5, p32), but that leaves her totally out of the picture. So the husband's love also has to be unselfish and focused on her needs (Php 2:6,7; 5, p32).

Knowing that his love is to be self-thoughtless and conformed to his wife's needs, the husband can look at some more specific characteristics and qualities of his love. First it must be ardent (3) and intense (John 13:1; 5, p32). These mean a couple things. Intense love is by nature pure (3); any impurities would reduce its intensity. Also, intense love is constant, not wavering or turning on and off (3). Secondly, and most importantly from the wife's viewpoint, the husband's love must be manifested to his wife (5, p32). This seemingly simple concept is actually very broad and a lot of work (5, p33). A few ways for a husband to show his love include the following: thoughtfulness (4), tenderness (4, 5, p35), kindness (4), telling her "I love you" (1, pp39,41,48; 5, p33), protection (Eph 5:28; 5, pp33,34; 1, p60), provision for her needs (1Ti 5:8; 1Jo 3:17; Eph 5:28; 5, p33; 2, pp57-58; 1, pp48,56), sensitivity (1, p50), respect (11; 5, p35), loads of praise and compliments (1Pe 3:7; Pr 31:28; 5, p36), sacrifice (Eph 5:25; Php 2:5,6; 5, p34), helping her (5, p34), sharing everything (5, p34), and prioritizing her right after Christ (1Pe 3:7; 9, p41; 5, p35).

Bibliography

Christenson, Larry and Norris. The Christian Couple. Minneapolis, MN: Bethany Fellowship, Inc., 1977. (At Amazon)
Fremont, Walter and Trudy. Formula for Family Unity. Greenville: BJU Press, 1980. (At Amazon)
Henry, Matthew. Matthew Henry's Commentary of the Whole Bible. Old Tappan, NJ: Fleming H. Revell Co. (At Amazon)
Jamieson et al. A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Pub. Co., 1945.
Mack, Wayne. Strengthening Your Marriage. Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian and Reformed Pu. Co., 1977. (At Amazon)
Merril, Dean. The Husband Book: A Job Description for the Married Man. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1977.
Online Bible. Vers. 6. Computer software. Woodside Bible Fellowship, 1992. (Download the entire program from www.onlinebible.org for free!)
Renich, Fred. The Christian Husband. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Pub., 1976.
Smalley, Gary. The Joy of Committed Love. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1984.
Thompson, Frank Charles. A Complete System of Biblical Studies. 4th ed. Indianapolis: B.B. Kirkbridge Bible Company, Inc., 1982.
Webster, Noah. Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary. 2nd ed. Ed. Jean L. McKechnie. New York: Dorset and Baber, 1983.

All verses in this article

My Role as a Husband

Bibliography

LaRocque Family